|While Sikh Matrimonials strives to attract the highest-quality people to our service, we have no way to screen those few people who may be untrustworthy and have the wrong intentions. On-line, as in real life, people are a mix of honesty and hidden agendas. Take your time, get to know each other slowly and, for your safety, we strongly recommend that you follow these basic tips as you go about your search for a spouse.|
1. Keep Your Eyes Open
People who are cheats and liars play into fantasies that you already have in your own mind. They disguise themselves as the "one" you are looking for in order to gain your trust. At the start, have a healthy dose of skepticism and keep your eyes open. There is a saying. "Don't listen to what a person says. Watch what they do." Don't let the other person's words pull you into a fantasy. See for yourself who they are and make your judgment based on your own assessments.
2. Trust Your Instincts and Intuition
There is a subtle voice we all have that tells us whether something is the right situation or not, whether someone is a good person or not. Learn to listen to that voice and trust it completely. If your instincts or intuition give you a warning signal, walk away. If you wait for "proof" of what your inner voice is telling you – it will be too late. Don't get caught in the play of time and space. You can know ahead of time it you listen to and trust yourself.
3. Gather Information and Make Sure It Is Consistent
Keep yourself in the spirit of a researcher. Gather as much information about the other person as you can. Ask for pictures as pictures will give you visual clues about a person's character. Talk to the person on the phone. Ask the same questions at different times to see if the information you are receiving is consistent. If someone gives you inconsistent information or is too hesitant, after an appropriate amount of time, to discuss his or her background and family, walk away. If someone has been open with you on the email but refuses to talk on the phone, walk away.
4. Precautions for Meeting in Person the First Time
Meet as part of a group. The first meeting does not have to be one-on-one. In fact, it would be better to meet with at least one other person present. Bring at least one friend or family member whose judgment you trust. Listen to what your friend or family members thinks about this person. Sometimes, when we have hopes or expectations, we become blind to what is in front of us. Having a neutral third party will help you assess your potential mate.
Meet in a safe, public place. For the initial meeting, there is no need to go to someone's home. Meet in a safe part of town, in a public, friendly place.
Take separate transportation. Take separate cars or transportation to an initial meeting. Having your own transportation will give you the independence and security you need.
Tell someone where you are going. Let someone know where you are going, who you are meeting, what time you are leaving and what time you are returning. Give that person the contact information of the person you are going to meet. Make sure someone knows what you are doing and will be watching for your safe return.
If You Are Meeting Someone in a Different City. Bring a trusted friend or family member along with you. Even if it's more expensive, your safety is worth it. Stay in command of the travel arrangements. Book your flight and hotel on your own. Do not give the name of your hotel to your prospective spouse and do not allow him or her to make the arrangements for you. Rent a car at the airport and drive to your hotel. Meet at the location you have already agreed to. If the location seems inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your hotel then contact the person you are meeting at that location or leave a message on a home machine. Always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has your contact information. And if possible, carry a cell phone at all times.
Continue to Bring Friends and Family to Meetings. Sikh Matrimonials strongly recommends that you have a friend or family member with you at every meeting with your potential spouse until you feel completely safe meeting with the person one on one.
5. Red Flag Behavior
As you get to know your potential spouse, pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red flags. Be very cautious if your potential spouse appears significantly different in person from his or her online persona. Also be cautions if, after a reasonable amount of time, your potential spouse fails to introduce you to friends, professional associates or family members.
6. You Always Have Permission to Walk Away
Sometimes, we are trained to be polite even to our own detriment. Know that you can always walk away – at any moment, for any reason. If something feels uncomfortable – do not silently endure it. Walk away from the situation.
7. Report Misuse
Should you have an interaction with someone on Sikh Matrimonials who you feel is misusing this site and the services that are offered here, please contact us immediately and let us know.