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Summary of Question:To Continue Or Not To Continue
Category:Love & Marriage
Date Posted:Tuesday, 5/17/2011 6:00 AM MDT

i hv been married for the last 2 & the half years,however after marriage my husband changed extensively.i live with my inlaws & my husband seems to be very comfortable there with no financial worries in putting effort to save & stabilise ourselves. he have been jobless for few months in 2 years & i hv been bearing all the expenses for both of us.

He have also offed his phone, goes drinking with his friends & comes home late in the morning very often, he have financial difficulities all the time but never does tell the truth of wht he does with his pay.
i live with my in laws and there are aware of his behaviour, however they keep advising me to pray hard & things will change one day, my father in law have also mentioned many times tht divorce is not allowed in sikhism, this is my karma,Is tht true? when i suggested to live out, i was accused of being a bad daughter in law as im taking away their son far which was never my intention.
Last year, the day came where i just could take it anymore, i packed my stuff & move out, during that my husband have also promised he will move in with me to work tings out, but he didnt.Instead of fulfilling his promised he ended up accusing me of making him choose between me & his family, which again was never my intention. He left me living alone in 3 mths, never did he visit me, call me or even ask me if im save or how i feel.I was depressed & all alone, i couldnt decide wht to do & im afraid of taking the wrong steps.No one seem to be able to understand me neither anyone cared how i feel & wht is it i want for myself.
After 3 mths, i went back to him & began living with my inlaws again. Sadly tings did not change, just recently i found out he took personal loan behind my back,when i confronted him he lied & denied, when i demand for documentation he started making excuses up which he always does.
He also hv lied bout how he spent his money, to me he kept implying how he dont have money since he is paying for the house we bought & the expenses of the current house we are living at. He have also lied to me about his whereabouts, he comes home smelling of alcohol & smoke, yet when i confront he denied.
I cant take tis anymore,during this 2 n the half years i could count with fingers the times we were intimate, even for that he have excuses, he dont want to have kids, he keeps making excuses about that, always he promise to change within days he repeats his same attitude, when i tried telling his parents all they tell me is to be patient & pray, how do i tell them how hurt i am & that im a human too, i have a heart too,i feel like my whole life have ruined.
Pls help me, how do i deal with this
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reply
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Dear one, this man is not going to fulfill you in any way. Divorce is definitely an option. It is OK to divorce. You owe nothing to this man now. He left you a long time ago.
Since your family is not offering support I suggest that you find support elsewhere. find a family agency, battered womens assistance, a sister or aunt a friend. Pick yourself up and head out to make something of your life. You have a job and you can make yourself a life without these very destructive people.
Look to Guru for love and support and recite the SHABD Bhand Jameeai bhand nimee-ai.........etc. every day to bring protection to you and bring radiance and dignity to your life.
SK



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